You won't see anything new on this blog untilI get one hundred comments.
The comments can be whatever you like.
Grocery lists,
random shit out of the phone book,
you can even just say "Here!"
(or "Present" if you're a dork.)
And don't try any funny business either
like leaving a bunch of multiple comments.
One per customer. Maybe two.
You think I'm bluffing?
Try me.
120 comments:
FIRST
A picture is worth a thousand words which is worth about 300 comments- so if I link to a photo that means you owe me about 200 comments.
Thumbs up!
You rock
(Mel Gibson voice)
GIVE ME BACK MY SON!!!
Dude, I got a rash on my weiner...what do you make of that?
I don't respond to ransom requests... oh wait... DAMN IT! I JUST DID!
:P
I'm calling the fuzz.
(talking in deep voice) Hello, this is the fuzz. Is everything OK here? .....GOTHCA!!! It's just me. Dr ZIbbs. Yeah, you thought it was the fuzz!
STELLA!! STELLLAAA!!
I'm going to post duplicates just to make you frustrated when you go and count all these comments.
One time I killed a homeless man with my bare hands, just to watch him die.
Wow, I feel so much better getting that off my chest. Thank you!
NO!
My comment is that I have a cousin named Ransom. That is all.
Nooo..I was about to be 14..I don't want to be n 13!
Gruunf!
aahh..yes I'm n 14!!Thanks Amanda!
Is it good to be 15? Can I say:
FIFTEENTH!!
Hmmm, not quite the same ring as first
Does it matter what number we are? If so I would like to reserve number 20, for no reason other than that I like that number.
whatcha
talkin
bout
Willis?
TWENTY!
Poobomber lead me to believe I would enjoy visiting your site. I'm just not sure...at least so far.
Boy, what you won't do for comments. Think of all those snot images you'll miss out on posting til we hit one hundred...
Oh yeah, and Poo sent me.
That'll be $50, Dopey Pants. And don't be paying me in that monopoly money you call Canadian currency. I want green, bitch, green.
I hate feeling forced to do anything, but I guess you leave me no choice.
Present!
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting Frantic
NUMERO - THIRTY
Dear Diary:
It's cold outside today. I need to go buy a nice coat from Macy's. I also need to write about the fantastic night I had.........
- Jennifer
You can kill the hostages but don't hurt the Blog you sunofabitch!
No, no SOME GUY is going to give you $50!!
I'm too broke to sponsor comments!
sheesh -- feel needed much?
I have a box of timbits here. Timbits anyone??
Also have one 1/2 empty steeped tea with milk.
I don't like grape skittles
*phoot*
*giggling @ dog breath*
Jen I'll take the grape skittles! yum!
The real question is "Is this Blog really worth saving?"
I mean I've never been here before, maybe it's the lamest frigging blog on the planet.
Poobomber seems to like it but he's a hand flapping retard.
Maybe by saving this blog we are limping along a scab on the interwebs that should have been put down long ago.
I don't know, like I said I just got here. Poobomber said we should post here but maybe he was just in a daze from the high quality free healthcare procedure he had this morning (He had his knees removed which is pretty stupid but since it was free, he couldn't resist. There was a waiting list for sex changes and the knee guy had a hole on his schedule).
Out of morbid curiosity I'll stick around and see what the big fat hairy deal (Garfield) is about this Blog.
Maybe I'll burn it's antennas off with a magnifying glass when it shows it's ugly cherry shaped head later.
Anything?! I can comment on ANYTHING? Well, great.... and for the first time here I don't know what I wanna say....
Hmm....
Yeah, I got nothin'.
Dammit.
Timbits!
Pass me some!
Don't do it Poo, Timbits build up in your cell membraines over time and have been linked to cancer and mouth blisters in non-clinical trials.
There's little worse than a Timbit blister.
Since I've got nothing to say, I asked the kids I'm Nannying right now what they would want to say, you know, to save the blog and everything:
The one year old said to post: "Yabrikchaploonawnaw" which clearly had something to do with the crackers and naked Barbie doll she was brandishing at the time. I'll leave the fine tuning of the message up to you.
The four year old said to post: "Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Chris - HEY, do you know if dogs eat fruit?!" So, Chris, do they?!?! I had a dog that used to eat olives! Does that count?!
The male fruit fly (Drosophila bifurca) has single sperm cells that are 5 centimeters long which is at least two centemeters longer than Poo's junk.
Just before funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. '2 years older than me.' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.'
I like cheese.
If you stick a needle in your eye it could hurt quite badly.
My cat is looking at me funny. I'm guessing it's either planning my death or it has gas.
Snap!
I don't like rules.
Crackle!
I can't quit you.
there. MY work here is done.
I'm done now. Four comments is enough. Four is a nice round number.
Sorry. I forgot I hate even numbers.
Yes, but isn't six a much more "round" number, WhiskeyMarie?
I've called in Delroy Lindo... he should be here at any minute!
I don't see one from me yet. How can that be?
This gives me the opportunity to point out...
On the next comment, which is number 69, that ...
The square root of 69 is 8 something.
There. Wasn't that worh it?
Am I #100? Who's going to count all these comments? I think I should be named #100 since I asked.
What do I win?
Dear Mr. Guy:
You have been the lucky winner of 100,000,000 British Pounds!
Please submit your name, address, phone number, and all relevant contact information on to our claims department to start your new life as a millionaire!
Ref#: 829827928HZ272
It's only right that I am the 73rd comment, since I was born in '73.
Oh what a night
Mid-February back in '73
What a very special time for me
I came out of a vagina and
Into the night
SEVENTY-FOURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
- Jennifer
SEVENTY-FIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Just showing you that I can count
SEVENTY-SIXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
IT WAS A CLEAR DIRECTION. YOU PEOPLE ARE LIKE SECOND GRADERS WHO DRANK TOO MUCH MOUNTAIN DEW. A.D.D. MUCH?
WHY AM I YELLING?
LOOK EVERYONE, HE'S NOT EVEN COMMENTING HIMSELF ON HIS WILDLY SUCCESSFUL BLOG ENTRY!!!
Some Guy....you're so modest. I love you. Really. I love you. Like kissy-love.
No, I'm just kidding, I love you but not in that way. Like a brotherly love way. Like a "You blog and I blog and we have so much in common and here we are together, alone in this room, and oh whoops, look, my shirt came undone" sort of way.
Definitely not like a mancrush sort of way.
Fally: I'm just posting multiple times in order to piss him off with his counting strategy thing.
I'm new here.
You said 100 condoms?
I'm going to be sticking around for awhile. Just to see how this pans out.
HI SASS!!
[waving!]
I love how small the blogosphere is ;)
Ya! Hi Sass, where you been?
Hey Sass, welcome to the party. Did you bring soda? I'm thirsty.
Thirsty?!
Would you like some of the wine I brought? I always bring RED :)
While you are boycotting, you can always swing by and check out a girl's life running with the big boys at 200+mph!
(shameless plug be damned!)
www.horsepowerandheels.com
I don't drink wine unless it's out of a pirate's wooden leg. It's just one of those things about me.
I came back. I couldn't help myself.
I'm hungry. Got any chips in this place?
I'm 91, in honor of the year I graduated from college. (I know, dorky, but true...stopped by, thanks to Poobomber. Thanks, Poo.)
Oh, and I read in the paper today that three guys in Wisconsin were recently arrested trying to dig up a dead body to have sex with it.
I thought you all would enjoy that one.
My nose hurts.
Do alter egos count? This is the alter ego of unfinishedperson hoping so.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
I heard about that too, Whiskey. Apparently they saw a picture of her (you know, from BEFORE she died) and they decided she was so hot they needed to dig her up to screw her.
ugh.
Frickin' weirdos man!!
a WEEK after she had been dead (or buried?)
Numba 97 only three more and you can go about your normal life.
I wonder how many people will jump in at the end to get the coveted 100.
100 yet?
100 YET?!
Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we...
100... YET?!?!
Holy crap! I'm 100?
Okay, that's my good deed for the day. Gotta get my kid from school.
Wow good prediction. in less than two minutes before the barage
Have fun counting by the way. Heh heh heh.
Falw....None of us can read :)
- Jennifer
Ah crap, I was on the phone and missed the 100th comment. Can you make it so that we go to 200 now?
No, make it so we go to 108!
OH WAIT. OH. MY. GOD. OH MY GOD. HOLY CRAP! I'M.. I'M 108!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SAY SOMETHING ALREADY!!! IS THE BLOG SAFE?? CAN WE HAVE IT BACK NOW? YOU DIDN'T ...TOUCH...IT AT ALL DID YOU?!?!?!
Christ, I was ready to call in Russell Crowe for help even.
The russian military is now deploying the opium gas into the ventilation system, the power has been cut and men are stationd on adjacent rooftops.
Let the Blog go or we're coming in!
That was the best laugh I had in the past hour.
LMAO! NICE WORK.
Fuck! I'm 114. I'm always late to the party. Is there any beer left?
Well, I commented before I read the other comments so I may be the actual 114 but I'm not sure you've reached 100 single-person comments yet so I decided to come back and fuck with you like everyone else and write a really, really, really long run-on sentence that has nothing to do with anything but is really, really, really long like this one right here.
Is it sad that I'm genuinely sad that I missed out on all the fun today?
Gets what?
I'm late to this party. I will say that however good Blogging is, it will never replace sitting around a table having a beer and chewing the fat. We can come very, very close to getting inside each others brains, and even appreciate the thinking process of someone on another continent, but we can't leave a smell when we take a dump in each others can.
If you know what I mean.
Looks like I'm last to the party.. you all went home. I'm gonna hang round and drink from all the 1/2 finished drink cups layin around. (You know, like that kid in Caddy Shack, then he yaked in the sun roof of the Porche. What was his name? Spalding?).
I'll be ok. I can handle it. Oh yeah, Poo sent me. Like hours ago.
Oh, Sans... you brought tears to my eyes... :-) I'm so moved by your comment... heh, heh, heh.
Dammit! I'm always late for the party!
121 comments - damn dude - good going.
Damn Chris, I was literally going to do the same thing until I reached twenty comments (my own don't count and I've still never gotten there).
I guess I'm late to the party...
I always catch this shit late...
I'm the worst blog commenter ever.
My friend doesn't like you...
I don't like you either...
I have the death sentence on 12 systems...
Comment!
thanks to all of you for entertaining me!
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