11/07/2008

Just When You Think Life Can't Get Any Better...

Remember that bitch-bastard of a canker sore that's been tormenting me for what seems like months now? No? Oh, right. I guess I never mentioned it. I don't like to burden you guys with my problems. You all have your own shit to deal with. Well, at any rate, it seems to be gone. I suppose I could have done more to accelerate its demise. I think they do make various salves and potions that alleviate a lot of the pain. Do doctors perform cankerectomies? If they do, it probably costs like 78 million dollars which, in my book, is WAY too expensive. Sure it hurts like a motherfucker, but I have better things to spend my 78 million on, like Hummels and blow.


Edited to add: For the record, this is not my canker. I robbed it off GIS (Google Image Search).

18 comments:

Falwless said...

Sexy picture.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I know we don't know each other. (although I somehow can't separate the image of the comment you posted on Zibbs site a while back and your name from my mind. You know the one with the hemorrhoid)
In any case, Zibsy noninated you today on my site. I hope that you will check it out. You must have some beauties to share. If you don't really give a hoot, then thanks anyway, and have a nice day.

teri said...

Yeah, what Falwless said. And Candy about that hemorrhoid picture.

Geez, you're gross!

Dr Zibbs said...

That's a tooth you freak! Please wash you hands before commenting on my blog. I don't want any of my readers catching this disease.

Bubs said...

You are my hero.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Hummels and Blow. Is that what rich people buy these days? I'm SO out of touch!

- Jennifer

Miss Alex said...

that's is one filthy crater

Poobomber said...

Man, kissing hookers really IS a no-no!

Amy said...

I am laughing my ass off that Hummels and Blow were even used in the same sentence.

J. Hi said...

You should use that pic on your Holiday card.

Some Guy said...

I'd like to welcome all the newcomers: Candy's Daily Dandy, Jennifer, and J. Hi. Stop by anytime! As for the rest of you, you're still here?

~E said...

"For the record, this is not my canker. I robbed it off GIS"

Liar!

raf said...

Wow!Hi!Where did you stick your mouth to get that?And what do you do with hummels?This is real pervertion!
I guess that blow is the only way to cheer you a little up after those 2 thing!!

Dale said...

They're your teeth in the photo though right?

catherinette said...

So if it comes back? Will you give it a name? If you do, might I suggest Carl?

BeckEye said...

It's sad that I can totally relate to this post because I get those cankers and tongue ulcers all the time. I can't even really eat oranges anymore, which I love, but which always cause me to develop those little bastards in my mouth.

There is something called Gly-Oxide that they sell at most drugstores that helps get rid of them. Or just get the generic "oral antiseptic." Whatever you do, don't get that "Kank-a" shit in the brown bottle. It tastes like strained diarrhea and if you even get the slightest drop on your teeth, they'll get that horrible numb feeling.

I feel like I'm 90 talking about this shit.

Micgar said...

Canker sore are the worst! Those little suckers can hurt like hell! Here's what I do: Go get some isopropyl alcohol (70%)and a syringe (a real syringe-these are readily available at any drugstore or my house) fill the syringe with 3 ml of isopropyl alchohol. Inject the canker sore with the alcohol. You'll feel better soon!

Coaster Punchman said...

I'm only slightly disappointed it's not your canker. I get them too, and I heard that you get them when your body's ph levels are off kilter - too high on acidic content or something. Drinking lots of carbonation raises your acidity level (or so I've been told) and I started getting them a lot more when I started drinking seltzer by the gallon. What can I say, I love the fizz.

My favorite remedy is Campho-Phenique gel, but it can be hard to find. I'm alarmed at your friend's suggestion of injecting them with alcohol, as fun as it sounds.