7/21/2008

The Ultimate In Stankitude...

Bad smells usually don't bother me. I find skunk-smell rather pleasant. Cow manure is a delight. I live for sewage treatment plants. However, even my forgiving olfactory senses cannot tolerate Liquid Fence.

Megan has a little vegetable garden growing in our yard. She uses this product to keep deer and other animals from eating her crops. Last night I caught a whiff of it for the first time.

OK, imagine eating a casserole made of boiled cabbage and dog shit. Then, puke it up onto a rotting beaver carcass. Let it sit in the hot sun for a few days. That's pretty much the smell. In fact, I'm guessing that is the exact process they use to manufacture it. It must suck to work in their factory, you know, having to eat all that dog shit and puke it up day in and day out. I hope they pay well and offer decent benefits.

11 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

We have the extra strength Liquid Fence. Gene Shallot breathes into it just before they put the cap on. It's pricey but no deer.

Mnmom said...

I bought some highly stinky stuff called Earth Juice a while back. You're supposed to add it to the water for plants, flowers, etc. Smelled like a drunk just hurled right up into a bottle. A drunk who had recently been to Taco Bell and ordered extra onions.

Keeper Of All Things said...

I'm not sure if i'd even want to eat the veggies out of the garden after it been sprayed around it!!

Philly said...

That shit's nasty. Isn't just a mixture of another animals urine?

I pee on my plants myself!!

#1

vikkitikkitavi said...

I hear the Republican National Committee is hiring tons of former Liquid Fence factory workers, due to their high tolerance for stinking rancid fetid mounds of shit.

Mnmom said...

Vikkitikkitavi - GOOD ONE!!!!!!!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Mmmmm, Liquid Fence.

Flannery Alden said...

Ha!

anne altman said...

wonderful descriptive prose!!! i smell a Food Network career...

or is that liquid fence? no.

my underarms?

no, it's actually your underarms.

sorry about the failed career thingie.

next time.

Micgar said...

uggh no wonder it keeps all order of living things away! Geez!

Distributorcap said...

you put that on a vegetable garden and then eat the veggies?