7/24/2008

Fuckin' Novak...

By now you're probably all aware that media toad Bob Novak hit a guy with his car and then drove away. Knowing Bob as I do, I can tell you that he is a stubborn bastard. He doesn't have time to be yielding to worthless pedestrians. He's got places to be, motherfuckers!

You know what else Bob doesn't have time for? He doesn't have time to learn how to properly throw a fuckin' frisbee. It's infuriating. So I go over to his house the other day (I just happened to be in Washington, D.C.) and I yell into the mail slot on his front door really loud (he can't hear so good), "Yo, Bobby! I got my disc. Get your ass out here!"

He putzed around for what seemed like forever, then came out in a pair of checkered Umbros and NO shirt (gross!). We walked over to the park, found a big open spot, and started to play. I swear the guy can't make a good throw to save his fucking life! He'd either torpedo it right into the ground or do one of those big arching boomerang-type throws that goes fucking NOWHERE! And when he does, he makes me go and get it even though half the time it's totally closer to him. Then he'll occasionally try some fancy sidearm throw that never works, all the while I'm throwing perfect strikes, one after the other. And don't get me started on his drooling problem.

He's lucky to have friends like me that put up with his bullshit.

9 comments:

Falwless said...

Between you and Dr. Zibbs, I'm not sure who I'm more in love with.

Oh, and Jon, too.

Le sigh. All of you are spoken for.

Oh, P.S. I thought of you when I saw this post today.

Mnmom said...

I HATE guys who can't throw a good frisbee. Thanks, now I have another reason to hate him. Bastard.

Bill Stankus said...

Did you offer him a doggie treat? That usually works, except when he's scratching his fleas and is distracted.

Since he's neutered there is no reason for his not playing Friz - unless it's that worm problem again.

'Bubbles' said...

Hey, Some Guy!

Too many very funny and enjoyable posts to comment on individually!

I'm looking forward to WhenHarryMetSalad, and I'm sorry to have been absent so long!

You are a goofball, you know. :-)

Dr Zibbs said...

Damn it - that Falwless is whore'in over here too? Jesus. What I was gonna say was that Novak can't throw disc but he can hacky sak the...nevermind. My day is ruined.

Cormac Brown said...

Wow, I didn't know the details until now.

Rollin' over geezers with my 'Vette, cause that's how I roll. Straight gangsta pundit, beeyaaatch!

You're an amazingly patient dude, Chris. You should've frisbee'd him right in the hackey sack.

Distributorcap said...

can you come to NY and play frisbee with me?

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

You sir are a saint.

Micgar said...

On top of being Douchebag of the Century, he can't throw a goddamn frisbee?!