I'm A Renaissance Man...

Many of you probably don't know that, in addition to being a phenomenal writer, woodworker, and vocalist, I am a foremost authority on Scandinavian fashion. I have a subscription to Swedish Vogue. I know my shit.

Like anything, I feel the need to share my knowledge with the rest of you. Here is an introductory guide to what I call "Viking Chic":

Due to the lack of a formally observed Labor day in Scandinavia,
white can be worn year-round, especially with a little dash of color.
Talk about LOL Cats! Me-OW!
Oh, and overalls are ALWAYS fashion-forward.


It's common knowledge that Scandinavians like to look like superheroes.
Capes are prevalent, along with satin-y, form-fitting attire.
And, is it me, but does the guy on the left look vaguely like
a younger Wallace Shawn in a bag wig?


The "Scandies" go gaga for anything military.
Sew an epaulet on anything and these fuckers
eat it up with a spoon.
Just don't skimp on the sequins.


This is what Swedish people wear to weddings.
Ill-fitting tuxedos and platform shoes for the men.
Trampy Halloween costumes for the women.


Remember, there is no such thing as "too tight".
They also like to see LOTS of arm.
And cats, apparently.

Finally, I wanted to include an example of "everyday attire".
This is the kind of thing you're likely to see people
wearing at the hardware store or the lutefisk stand.

So, if you're planning a trip to Oslo or Stockholm, hopefully
now you have an idea of what to pack.
It's important to blend in when you're in foreign lands.
Skål!