1/07/2008

The Seven Things Tag...


I've been tagged by a few people (Teri, Micgar, & Frank) to do the "Seven things you don't know about me" tag. I've done this sucker a bunch of times and it is getting increasingly more difficult to come up with stuff I haven't told you. I mean, show of hands, who here is already terrified by what they've learned about me and might require therapy if I reveal any more? I thought so.

So, instead I'm going to tell you seven things you don't know about Rich Bergstein, a guy I knew in college:
  1. Rich suffered from a rare dental condition whereby all the teeth in his mouth were molars.
  2. Rich dyed his pubic hair green on Arbor Day each year. I only know this because that shit would clog the shower drain for the few days after.
  3. Rich never took his Lisa Lisa And Cult Jam With Full Force CD out of 6-disc changer. It was a bone of contention for years.
  4. Rich used to completely empty the Cracklin' Oat Bran dispenser in the dorm cafeteria each morning. With his mouth full of molars, he could go through that shit like a beaver through a hickory tree.
  5. Rich's favorite movie was Mannequin 2: On The Move. The guy was obsessed with Meshach Taylor. It wasn't in a homosexual way. He just really liked his brand of humor.
  6. Rich always carried a bar of Irish Spring soap with him. He'd go up to random people on the street and ask them what kind of soap they used. If they didn't use Irish Spring, he'd pull his out and, using a pocketknife, cut off a sliver, like in the old commercials. In his mind, this proved that the cleaning power of Irish Spring ran deep into the bar. I never really understood his logic, but he loved his Irish Spring and he had a knife, so I left it alone.
  7. Rich owes me $5 for a toaster oven we bought at a garage sale for our place. When we moved out, he took it and didn't reimburse me. Considering interest, he owes me about $3700. If you see him, let him know.

10 comments:

Teri said...

Thanks. That was way funnier and more interesting than if you would have put more random stuff about yourself.

SkylersDad said...

I knew Rich.

Rich was a friend of mine.

Chris, you're no Rich...

SkylersDad said...

You know how long I have been waiting to try and work that into comments?

Coaster Punchman said...

I'm starting to suspect you may be lying to us.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Sure, we believe you. This "Rich" is a friend of yours. Riiiight.

Distributorcap said...

Rich was rich, in a rich sort of way......

Hot Lemon said...

what did he do when he carved clean through the soap??

Cooper Green said...

He left the toaster with my ex-wife, so I guess she owes you the $3,700. Will you take a cheque?

Madam Z said...

The last time I saw Rich, he was chewing through a hickory tree. People were standing around watching him, and one little boy piped up and asked his mum, "Mum, why does that beaver have green hair?"

Dale said...

I wonder what he's writing about you? Or is he busy carving a different path, either with his teeth or that knife?