I know, I know. Money can't buy happiness. But if I had a lot of money, I wouldn't feel like I had to come to work when I'm still sick.
I literally have snot coming out of every orifice: nose, mouth, ears, tear ducts, asshole. I'm pissing snot. I'm sweating snot. It's ridiculous. When I blow my nose, out come little snot people holding tissues made of snot. You know what they're doing?
Juggling balls of mucus.
Sure, it's kind of neat, but I'd still prefer not to be sick. Or at least be rich.