I ate two fortune cookies today.
One said: You are practical and analytical. What the hell kind of fortune is that? A fortune is supposed to make a prediction. It's supposed to either warn you of impending misfortune or alert you to something good that's about to happen. I already know I'm practical and analytical. Having a cookie tell me that is pointless.
The other said: Appreciate the caring people who surround you. Again, this isn't a fortune. This is advice, and lame advice at that. I mean, did this cookie really think I was about to scorn the caring people surrounding me? Maybe it thought I was going to appreciate the cruel people surrounding me. If I had wanted an advice cookie, I would've bought one. Jeez.