Just a quick word of warning to any of you politicians out there. If you want my vote, you better fucking have a flag lapel pin affixed to your clothing where I can see it. If not, you no getta my vote. Got it?
This is my number-motherfucking-one election issue. Stars and fucking bars, baby. To me, the most telltale sign that someone is going to be an effective leader and is someone who shares my values and priorities is the presence of that shiny little stick pin. Anyone who doesn't think this is the most important issue of our time is living in some godless, communist dreamland.
Wake up, America! The time to act is now. Demand your candidates prove their patriotism by wearing a pin. If they aren't wearing it, they obviously hate freedom and baby Jesus.