It has become pretty routine for Megan and I to watch "Jeopardy" each night at 7:30. For a trivia geek like me, I see it as a way to stay sharp. It's extremely conducive to playing along at home. I'm usually good at sports, pop culture, and geography, whereas Megan dominates when it comes to literature, history, and food-related stuff. She gets annoyed when, each time the "Daily Double" pops up, I immediately say "All of it!", no matter what the scores. I get annoyed when she doesn't phrase things in the form of a question.
As I've mentioned before, there is one glaring problem with the show - the host. Alex Trebek is a total cock who has no business hosting a show like this, let alone interacting with other people in general. The post I linked mentions the horribly uncomfortable contestant Q & A that Alex conducts in the middle of each show. The contestants write down some interesting fact or story about themselves that 99% of the time falls flat. Then, Alex makes some incredibly lame joke, adding insult to injury.
Megan and I thought it would be great if each of the contestants wrote down something really depressing, just to see Alex's reaction. I mean, as long as this portion of the show is going to be awkward, they might as well go balls out. It might go something like this:
"Say hello to Joe Smith. Joe, it says here your wife was mauled by a lion?"
"Yes, Alex. We were on a photo safari in Mozambique when our Jeep hit a rock and overturned. Unfortunately, my wife had some beef jerky in her fanny pack, so before we were able to use the tranquilizer gun, the lion had ripped into my wife's abdomen. Being so far from medical help, she died before we got to a doctor."
"Ouch! That's gotta hurt! OK, Mary Johnson from Albany, New York. Mary, you apparently have something that very few people have. What is it?"
"That's right, Alex. I have a an extremely rare glandular problem that only affects about one person in 2.5 million. As a result, I have to undergo extremely painful spinal taps each day for the rest of my life. I suffer from chronic pain that no form of medication has seemed to help."
"Spinal Tap. Great Movie. 'This one goes to eleven!' Cracks me up every time! Our returning champ, Sally Davis. Sally, your card says you have a funny story about anal rape?"
Yeah, I think you get the idea...