Anyway, it seems there are republicans who are upset because they think there are people on the other side who are using Ted Kennedy's death to push their liberal agenda. I realize I am just Some Guy who blogs about toilets and posts embarrassing videos of himself, but in case anything should ever happen to me AND in case anyone makes a stink, I, being of (somewhat) sound mind and body, give you complete permission to politicize the fuck out of my death. In fact, I encourage it. If you want to honor me, feel free to fight for causes I hold dear and tell people I told you to. These include, but are not limited to:
- A world where no one feels the need to inflict pain on another, even if the invisible deity they pray to tells them it's a good idea. The Golden Rule, baby. Give it a chance. Unless, of course, you're a sadomasochist. Then do the opposite.
- Settling international disputes with games of "Rock, Paper, Scissors" (best 3 out of 5) rather than with war or other armed conflict.
- A base level of subsistence for all humankind that includes: food, shelter, clothing (optional), health care, and education.
- Publicly-financed elections that aren't bullshit shams and the elimination of the Electoral College.
- The defeat of any law that unjustly benefits the rich over the poor.
- No more of this crap about not letting homosexuals marry each other. And, for that matter, if some guy somewhere wants to marry his pet goat, why the fuck not? That's the kind of crazy world I want to live in!
- A complete repeal of all drug prohibitions. They don't fucking work and are counterproductive. Period.