A popular (often drunken) pastime in northern climes is to go outside and write your name in the snow with urine like our friend, Greg (above). He did an okay job even if his handwriting (actually, his "peniswriting") is a touch on the girly side.
Problem is, this particular winter activity has become mainstream. Any two-bit schmuck with a bladder full of Pabst can do it. Tell you what, Greggy, talk to me when you can crap your name in the snow. And I'm not talking about a bunch of individual, pieced-together logs. I'm talking in cursive, one continuous turd. You do that and you will have earned my respect.
This post goes out to my pal, Dr. Zibbs, who reminded me with this post that if you're struggling to come up with material, always return to the toilet.