The Final iPod Results...

I've loaded the last of my albums onto the iPod, as I mentioned HERE. I ended up with 6189 tracks (15.6 Days of music). Here's the final breakdown:

• Jazz: 1311 Songs, 3.7 Days
• Rock: 1275 Songs, 3.2 Days
• Alternative & Punk: 1105 Songs, 2.5 Days
• Blues: 596 Songs, 1.3 Days
• R & B: 439 Songs, 1 Day
  
• Country: 373 Songs, 19.9 Hours (*)
  
• Latin: 232 Songs, 15.3 Hours
• World: 232 Songs, 14.5 Hours
• Folk: 247 Songs, 12.3 Hours
  
• Pop: 230 Songs, 12.3 Hours
• Easy Listening: 118 Songs, 6.5 Hours

Additionally:

• Groupwise, XTC wins for duration (9 hours), but They Might Be Giants wins for most tracks (228).
• I have 95 songs with "Baby" in the title.
• I have 213 songs with "Love" in the title.
• I have 181 songs that ask either Who, What Where, When, or Why?
• 2657 tracks are 3 minutes or less.
• 938 tracks are 4 minute or longer.

*-Bear in mind, the following are considered country:

• Big Bill Broonzy (Blues)
  
• Wilco - including the Mermaid Avenue stuff (Folk or Rock, maybe some of it is Country)
  
• The Brian Setzer Orchestra (Rock)
  
• Lightnin' Hopkins (Blues)
  
• Link Wray (Rock)
  
• Reverend Horton Heat (Rock)
  

I Miss Bob Ross...

Make fun of his 'fro all you want.
That thing was glorious.

A Big, Round Number...

These kids were camped out in my yard this morning, dressed in their Sunday best, to celebrate the 50,000th visitor to this blog (who, I might add, was looking for info on Sandy Duncan's glass eye no less!) and to thank me for all the poopy jokes. Children, it's been my pleasure.

Thanks to all you out there, once again, for making this blogging stuff such a positive experience. In the immortal words of the lady in that one Seinfeld episode, you know, the one where they go to someone's apartment to watch the beginning of the New York Marathon and George wears a fake wedding ring to see if it'll help him meet women and Jerry is trying to avoid having Elaine move in to the empty apartment upstairs because he's afraid she'll cramp his style, "You're all winners!"

Chicken-Butt Beer...

I drank the beer that was up the chicken's butt that Megan grilled for dinner.

Alex Trebek Has A Major Boner For One Of His Contestants...

This post is specifically for readers who regularly watch "Jeopardy".

Has anyone else noticed how different Alex Trebek acts towards current phenom Larissa Kelly,

who has won close to $180,000 and is in fourth place for most winnings ever in non-tournament play? (As I write this, she is heading into "Final Jeopardy" with a slim lead and a question about 1950's Films.) Anyone who watches "Jeopardy" knows Alex can be a bit of a wanker, but when he is around Larissa he's a whole different person. He says little complimentary things to her when she gets questions right and seems to be flirting with her in a very subtle way. I think he's got a little crush. I must say, she does have a certain appeal. Megan and I have been rooting for her. She's very soft-spoken (She just won! It was a question about the movie "High Noon". Her new winnings total is something like $222,000!) and has a librarian-esque quality, but she's very aggressive in her "Double Jeopardy" wagers. She bets big, even if she has a big lead. This blog has some video of her if you're interested.

Memorial Day...

I know I haven't posted for a few days. I really needed a break. Finding goofy pictures and writing occasionally funny captions for them can be draining, both physically and emotionally. You all know what I'm talking about.

Memorial Day weekend was very nice. Frank and the UCW and some other friends came up from Chicago. They were in awe of how clean the place was compared to past visits. We did a bunch of grilling, sitting around, drinking, some wiffle-ball, and sporadic napping.

The video is from after the guests had left. Megan and I sat out on the deck and watched the fluff storm from the cottonwood trees while enjoying one of the nicest days so far this year. It was really cool-looking.

I'm Still Amazed By This Thing...

Over the past few days I have been doing something I've been putting off for a while. I'm putting all of my music onto my iPod. Every track off of every album. It is a tedious process. Up until now, I had thrown a few hundred of my favorite songs onto it to tide me over. However, after growing bored with hearing the same songs over and over and knowing I had more than enough space for all my music, I decided it was time. In the process, I have been rediscovering all this great music I own that I haven't listened to in ages. It's really been a lot of fun. I've also started setting up playlists. After getting about a quarter of my music loaded, the breakdown looks like this:

• Rock- 1.5 days
• Jazz- 1.3 days
• Alternative & Punk- 23.5 hours
• Blues- 13.3 hours
• Folk- 5.7 hours
• Country- 4.8 hours (I can't believe I have this much country music!)
• World- 3 hours

It' be interesting to see what these numbers look like when I finish.

It still fascinates me how so much information can fit onto such a small piece of equipment. Until the day when I break it or lose it, it is truly one of the best gadgets I've ever had.

I Have A Great Appreciation For Fine Art...

This is a photo I saw that was part of a
special exhibition when I visited The Prado Museum in Madrid, Spain.

I think the subtle lighting and depth-of-field are exquisite.

You've Made It...

So, you've:

• bought a motorcycle
• attached a piano to it
• found a fat naked dude to play it while you drive through puddles.

I ask you, what else is there left to do?
I'd say you've won.
You've reached the pinnacle.
You can die knowing that your life was not in vain.

My Weekend...

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I was down at a wedding in Chicago where I think I consumed approximately 78 Old Styles. Despite being a little gassy the next day, I avoided any significant hangover. The wedding was a lot of fun. I happened to be seated at the same table as esteemed blogger Grant Miller and got the chance to meet his lovely wife, Krista. It was weird to have more vegetarians than meat-eaters at our table.

On our way back to Michigan, we passed a sign in Indiana advertising a new housing development called "Avant Gardens". Personally, I'd be embarrassed to live in a place so cheesily named.

I Can't Stand Headlines Like This...

Hey, look everybody! The president is envisioning something!

I see headlines like this all the time on my Yahoo home page. Is it just me or does "envisioning" something seem just a bit un-newsworthy? I mean, fuck, I can envision a democratic Middle East free of oppression, too. Big deal. That's not fucking news. I can envision a place where the streets are paved with bacon, too. Just envisioning something does not rise to the level of essential information. How about some fucking news for a change?

My Biggest Source Of New Visitors...

I am amazed how much of my traffic comes from Google searches for "Sandy Duncan Glass Eye". I did THIS POST a while back. I'd say about 75% percent of my visitors find me this way. I never knew there was so much interest in Ms. Duncan's glass eye (or lack thereof, as the case may be). Turns out I'm second only to her IMDb.com profile when you do THIS SEARCH.

On a semi-unrelated note, I still hold the #2 slot for "Cunt-Ass Peehole". The only one above me is Frank and his was a post that referenced mine. I take some pride in this.

To Avoid Future Confusion...

This is a Pork Pie Hat.

This is a Porcupine Hat.

What's With All The Political Shit Lately?...

In case you missed "The Daily Show" last night, here is a classic example of someone being called on their bullshit. Why Doug Feith thought going on with Jon Stewart was a good idea escapes me. This interview made me angry - angry that it takes a guy on Comedy Central to finally hold this asshole's feet to the fire. I've seen Doug Feith on legitimate news programs and none of them even came close to questioning him this hard. It's in two parts:

Another Lame, Jay Leno-esque Joke That's Bound In To Be In His Monologue Tonight...

As many of you know, first daughter Jenna Bush got married over the weekend. It was a beautiful ceremony.

We are still waiting to see the pictures of Dick Cheney doing the Chickenhawk Dance at the reception.

I Couldn't Help Myself...

I fucking love outtakes. Especially ones of jackasses like Bill O'Reilly losing their cool. This from his "Inside Edition" days. There is bad language, so consider yourselves warned.

Edited to add: Hmm, big fucking shocker that this one got yanked. You can still check it out if you want HERE.

A $3 Bill May Be Queer, But...

...a $7 bill is downright insane!

However, according to THIS REPORT, Dubya is anxious to institute this new denomination of currency before his term is up.

Why is having a seven dollar bill important, you ask?

Dubya has his reasons:

• "It will remind people that Jesus had seven disciples."
• "It's like a five, but two better."
• "I could use it to buy a supersized Bacon, Beef, & Cheddar value meal at Arby's and not have to break a ten."
• "Presidents like Hamilton and Franklin got to be on money, so why not me?"
• "Seven rhymes with seventeen and seventeen is awesome!"
• "I like caterpillars."
  
• "It pays tribute to our nation's seven co-equal branches of government."

The $3 Trillion Shopping Spree...

I know this is a little hokey, but it is kind of fun to have $3 Trillion to play around with. I managed to pick up:

• Housing for America's homeless
• New clothing, shoes, coats, and school supplies for ten million children
• Universal health care for every American
• Sustainable agriculture education worldwide
• Every song in the iTunes library

and I finished repairing the damage done by Katrina.

And I haven't even spent half of my money yet! What would you guys get?

Try it HERE.

Thursday Blog Picture Purge...

Time once again to burp out a few of the pictures I grabbed during my many image searches. These are pics I thought might someday come in handy, but have now become moldy in my "blog" folder. Feel free to use them for your own creative purposes:

I like how it indicates that this is, in fact, an "official photo"
and stresses it with an exclamation point.

I was going to use this one in a post about how George Will
is a fucking wanker, but I lost interest.

OK, Time To Get Going Now...

I'm all for the democratic process running its course, but it's time to face facts. It ain't gonna happen. You've had plenty of opportunity to fling poo at your opponent and, to your credit, some of it stuck.

But not enough.

Don't be a baby. Do the right thing and admit that it's over. Please?

The look on your face is not encouraging. You're gonna stick around, aren't you?

Crap.

Love Is...

...wearing matching corn t-shirts.

Different Types Of Fans...

When Megan watches the Cubs with me, she says things like:

• Go Cubs GO!
• Come on, buddy!
• Oh, you didn't get there in time, but good hustle!
• Nice try! Nice try, buddy!
• Good eye!
• Ooo, I don't know if I would've swung at that.
• That's too bad.
• Nice play! (she says that to both teams)
• Nice hit!
• Aw, next time...
  

When I watch the Cubs, I say things like this:

• Fucking Cubs.
• Stupid fucking Cubs.
• Come on, fucking Cubs!
• Come on, dickhead, just get a fucking hit.
• Fucking shitty-ass fucking Cubs.
• Aw, fucking shit!
• This is possibly the worst team of all time.
• Oh, look. He's behind in the count. Big fucking shock.
• Losers. Absolute fucking losers.
• It's not that hard to hit a fucking home run, dude.
  

I know I'm a drag to watch a Cubs game with, but it comes from a lifetime's worth of being the fan of a losing organization. Don't get me wrong, I'll always be a fan. It's just that I feel I've earned the right to be hard on the Cubs. I always start with the assumption that they'll find a way to lose, and when they don't, I'm pleasantly surprised. I do hope they win it all some day, but I'm not holding my breath.

Strike three. Cubs just lost to the shitty-ass fucking Cardinals. Fuck.

Anomaly...

I've noticed that when I don't post anything for a few days, the average visits per day on my SiteMeter tend to increase at a far quicker rate than when I post stuff every day. So, I figure if I don't post anything for the rest of the year, I'll eventually have the most popular blog on the internet.

Just a bit of warning to you, icanhascheezburger.com. I'm hot on your tail. Pun intended, motherfuckers.

Documentary Film Of The Day: Manda Bala (Send A Bullet)...

OK, I know I'm on a bit of a movie kick right now, but this one should be an immediate add. I can think of no other documentary that has combined Brazilian political corruption, kidnapping, frog-farming, and plastic surgery in such a captivating way. For lack of a better word, this movie is fucking cool. The cinematography is amazing, especially the sweeping shots of Sao Paolo's skyline.

Do yourself a favor and add it to your Netflix queue now. It is also available for instant viewing online. For more, visit the film's website.