4/02/2010

At MY Tea Parties...

...we never:
  • have hour-long debates about whether the president is, in fact, a rat-fucking commie or a pig-fucking commie.
  • take turns reciting verses from Glenn Beck's Big Book Of Patriotic Poetry.
  • dress up like Thomas Jefferson and sodomize an effigy of Nancy Pelosi with a semi-automatic shotgun.
  • describe our fantasies of Sarah Palin licking Dick Cheney's fuzzy nipples.
No. We just sit around, eat a bucket of psilocybin mushrooms, drink invisible tea, and converse with inanimate stuffed bears.

You know, like real Americans.

12 comments:

SkylersDad said...

You are a true American Patriot, I would even go as far as call you hero!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Was this before or after you starred in "Children of the Damned"?

Jen said...

right on

Cora said...

Am I invited? I'll bring the cookies!

joe said...

Um, any mushrooms left, or did Jen eat them all????
As usual..

sweetsinnergwen said...

You're hilarious. I like the Palin/Cheney imagery but not sure it would work. I think Palin's forked tongue would pierce right through Cheney's empty chest cavity. But it's a nice image nonetheless.

Stay-At-Home Indie-Pop said...

And that shotgun should not just sodomise the fake Pelosi, it should go off at some point, preferably drawing blood from a live creature. It would be an abuse of our freedoms not to fire it as the founding fathers demanded.

Emmanuel said...

omg. that post is worthy of bill hicks!

Cormac Brown said...

Well, I definitely know who to send to the neo-cons Tea Parties.

Some Guy said...

S.D.- Come to think of it, I AM a hero.

VA- I'm still starring in it. Every day I star in it.

Jen- Word.

Cora- How about crumpets? I've never had one and have no idea what they are.

Joe- Seriously. She downs them like popcorn.

SSG & SAHIP- Welcome to both of you! Please stop by again.

CB- Love it!

GETkristiLOVE said...

...or converse with inanimate stuffed beers, like a true American.

Gwen said...

Just thinking about a bucket of psilocybin mushrooms makes me queasy and thirsty for the invisible tea. *urp*