I know. I was as surprised as anyone.
After watching Congress vote to enact sweeping health care reform the night before, I was awoken this morning to the sound of a squadron of Commu-Nazi soldiers breaking down my front door. They grabbed me out of bed, threw me in the backseat of an electric car, and took me to the nearest abortion clinic. It didn't matter how much I tried to explain that I was a man and thus unable to conceive a child. When they finally determined that I wasn't pregnant, they figured they had me there and might as well remove something, so they took out my pancreas and sold it to an ACORN employee for a pack of menthol cigarettes.
Just like Glenn and his "Chalkboard of Freedom" said they would.